LA Recap: Burning Money... Or Not

Window shopping can be a whole lotta fun, especially when it comes to beautifully built and designed stores.—September 10th, 2013

The busy streets of the Grove

Fountin Grove

LA Recap: Color of Venice

It was a bus ride away. Venice, from the peaceful canals to colorful graffitis to the cheerful beach, it is the place of holiday fun.—September 6th, 2013

LA Recap: Hollywood & Heroes

No stay at the city of angels is complete without at least a visit to Hollywood.—September 4th, 2013

"With broad strides, Superman walked past me, his cape lightly brushed my legs. We all dream of heros from time to time. For me, he has always been the perfect solidification of what hope is."

"Penn & Teller are my favorite magic performers. They can put a touch to the most traditional magic tricks and turn them into something extraordinary."

Live Below the Line: Day 5

The end is finally here.

I am less afraid of going hungry than I was over the last four days. I know I’ll be free to eat whatever I want in no time. I’ve been counting down the hours. The happiness I am feeling right now is very different from the delight of having something to eat. It’s such a relief. Only now do I realize the fear of getting stomach cramps, staying up at night, and feeling faint had given me so much pressure. At the start of the week, I was confident: “It wouldn’t be too bad, I didn’t usually eat that much anyway.” As the week progresses and the first sign of hunger appeared, I guess I panicked a little. Expectations felling short of reality probably made it scarier. All thoughts automatically wonder to the one question of how to get more food. I learned to feed myself better towards the end, but the diet has gotten progressively less balanced and less healthy. If I continue to live by $1.50 a day, pretty soon I will be eating nothing but potato and lattice. Malnutrition is inevitable, but I wouldn’t care. It’s a frightening notion.

There are still hours to go before the challenge ends. But it is already a fine time to reflect on my week. I am so overwhelmed with the experience it will be difficult to put everything into words. As before, I will do my best and try to be as honest as possible.

The most profound impact came from the realization of how hunger, or indeed being in extreme poverty, makes it almost, if not completely, impossible to change one’s fate. At worst, I was only mildly hungry this week. Yet all my energy was directed to seeking and craving food. I can do little else. And when I do, I cannot do them as well as I want to. The situation gradually worsens towards the end. I was constantly tired, more than I realized. Just today, I went out for some errands and was exhausted upon returning home. I slept for nearly three hours afterwards. It was no laziness. It was fatigue. People need food to be productive. People need energy to work to get the money for food. Lacking either, one will have difficulty getting the other. The cycle completed itself. It surprises me how hard it was for me to really grasp that before.

We, who have a house over our heads, who have enough food, who can go to school, who can spare money for actives we love, are extremely lucky people. I feel almost guilty for being so privileged. The guilt comes from knowing how I used to crave more. I was always wanting. Nice clothes, books, tickets to a show, money to go a traveling... I never wanted food before. Hunger was too foreign a concept. People were suffering around me but they seemed so far away. They don’t anymore. They never will again.

I have a new-found appreciation for food. I will never be more thankful than to have a hot meal on the plate. The food I wasted before would put me to shame now. How can anyone throw edible food down the drain when they spent a week eating apples down to the core and would consume its seeds and stem were it possible not to gag in the process?

The world seems both smaller and bigger. Smaller because there are so many people who are willing to help and who are supportive. I am most grateful for everyone who has cared for me though out the week. But participation in the campaign also brought about connection with like-minded strangers. I have received much heartwarming encouragements. Frankly, though, I was too wrapped up in my own misery to give as much support to fellow participants as I would like. The world feels bigger because there are still an alarming amount of people who need help. The feeling that we might never truly end poverty can be depressing. We can only do so much. With all there is to be done and should be done, chasing after fame and fortune seems like such a childish insignificant business.

This has been a most amazing journey for me. To say it is life-changing is not an exaggeration. The understanding that people are suffering all around will not be forgotten for a moment. It is clearer to me than ever before that everyone should be given a chance to start from the same footing. No one should inherit poverty and be left to perish. If donating and volunteering was only an act of kindness before, it is an act of necessity now. People need not suffer if we do something. The campaign may be over, but the need to help continues.

Today's total: $1.42

You can help make a difference too!
The campaign will remain open until the end of May.
To donate, go to: http://www.livebelowtheline.com/me/mxke
All funds raised will go to the World Food Program (WFP)

Live Below the Line: Day 4

Today's total: $1.48

It was the same routine as usual: Feel hungry. Get excited about breakfast. Get up. Eat. Still feeling hungry. Except I was more tired this morning. The hunger kept me up for a while last night. It was not pleasant. I tried to go for even more filling stuff today: Baked potato, banana, and stir-fried rice. They never looked so good. This change even allowed me to sneak in a couple of toast in between meals. Right now I am more content than I ever was since day 1. With more food plus my body adjusting to the new diet, I think I coped rather better today. There wasn't much incident. Hopefully I will sleep better tonight. I'm glad the end is near.

You can help make a difference too!
To donate, go to: http://www.livebelowtheline.com/me/mxke
All funds raised will go to the World Food Program (WFP)

Live Below the Line: Day 3

The full effect of hunger is building up.

There were a lot more to endure today. I hesitate to describe what I’m experiencing fully for fear of worrying those who cares about me. But I am determined to be completely honest in making these records. So before I continue, I want to assure everyone who loves me to not worry. What you are about to read may sound worse than what I actually experienced. None of what was going on with my body has affected my regular schedules. Please be confident that I am still well.

Since yesterday, I have been feeling a bit cold even though the temperature is high. I thought it might not be directly related to hunger. Yet today the feeling persisted. My body is getting weak. At times, I feel a very slight tremor in both arms and legs. And then there was the stomach cramps. They happened a few times right before meals, but never long. I feel best after eating, like now. Having had dinner, nothing can be more in the norm. Only two days to go. I can do this.

Feelings aside, filling my belling is getting more difficult. I struggle with whether to maintain a balanced diet, or to simply try to fill my stomach as much as possible when making meal plans. The hungrier I get, the more my priorities shift towards getting as much food as possible instead of eating healthily. I cut down on milk and meat today. A couple of days ago, this decision would be unthinkable.

For lunch, I still had an apple. It almost seems like a bad choice. Fruits are most unfulfilling. And without it I could get three times more pastina. Now that sounds very appealing. The sandwich I would normally find enough seemed much too small.

Dinner was equally unsatisfying, even though I got slightly more starchy food by cutting down on everything else. I am keeping this short. It seemed so pitiful, I can hardly think of something to say about it here.

This is the end of the third day; already the lack of food is having an effect on me. To think that soon this will be all over is a comforting one. But this is just me. There are 1.2 billion people out there who never know when their suffering will end. Hunger fogs the mind and weakens bodies. It exposes people to sickness. And these people, they are helpless against it. We, able bodied and healthy, can only try to do as much as possible to help. But will it ever be enough?

Today's total: $1.49

You can help make a difference too!
To donate, go to: http://www.livebelowtheline.com/me/mxke
All funds raised will go to the World Food Program (WFP)

Live Below the Line: Day 2

I couldn't wait to get out of bed this morning. I kept thinking "I'm having breakfast!" like it was the most exciting thing that can happen. Pouring cereals into the bowl, it occurred to me how wonderful the sound of cereals clinking on ceramic was. It made me happy. Then I realized I haven't appreciated breakfast cereal like this ever since elementary school. Having a meal feels like a rare treat.

I planned the coming meals with care today. Yesterday, I miscalculated the impact missing afternoon tea can have on my hunger and ate too little at noon. I won’t make that mistake again. For lunch, I modified a favorite brunch menu to fit my budget. I cut out the center of a toast, filled the hollow with an egg, and fried it. The extra bit of toast went into the stir-fried lattice. The dish sort of cheated my senses into believing there were more on the plate than there really was. Adding an apple, lunch was a feast.

The afternoon was easier to pass by. Even though I still wish for a snack, the craving wasn’t overwhelming. I was able to push food from my mind for a few hours as I went about my studies. At 5:30, I cut the toast and made some salad. Dinner was delicious but unfulfilling. My stomach still rumbles as I sit here typing, but the hunger doesn’t bother me that much anymore.

Even though I am getting used to the empty feeling, there were moments (such as when unknowing friends called up for ice-cream) when battling for self-control became difficult. Those were times when all the supporting voices that came to me over the last few days helped very much. In addition to friends’ and family’s encouragement, I was happy to receive words from both WFP and ‘Live Below the Line UK’ through social media. They reminded me that I am doing this for a good cause. Going to sleep tonight will be easier even with an empty stomach. For all that send in their support, thank you. I am very grateful to get those messages.

Today's total: $1.41

You can make a difference too!

To donate, go to: http://www.livebelowtheline.com/me/mxke

All funds raised is going to the World Food Program (WFP)

Live Below the Line: Day 1

Even though I expected to be hungry, I thought LBL wouldn’t impact my life too much because I don’t really eat much on a daily basis.

I was wrong.

Breakfast time. Coffee or tea was too much luxury. This I could deal with. Although an empty feeling was beginning to grow on my body. Still, I got through the morning without incident.

For lunch, there was only one lonely apple. It was the only fruit I planned to have all day. The memory of it stayed with me though the afternoon. I never thought I’d love the sweet taste of an apple so much. For someone used to having at least a fruit after every meal, my body was protesting. Dissatisfaction and cravings were constantly on my mind, even when I tried preoccupying myself with schoolwork as distraction.

3pm, the time of the day when I usually have afternoon tea and snacks. The desire to eat was overwhelming. I was already looking forward to dinner very much. The empty feeling continued to grow. To fill it, I kept on drinking water. It didn’t help much, but at least it was something for my mouth to do.

At 5pm, I decided I can stand it no longer, and had to have my last meal early. Mercifully, my daily budget was still enough to cook a simple pastina with some lattice and a very little sandwich turkey. No meal ever looked as wonderful as that small bowl of pastina soup.

This is only the first day. Already the feeling of hunger has taken up a big part of my conscious. But there is no cause to complain. Unlike people living though poverty, I do not suffer from the fear of not finding my next meal. I have the freedom to stop doing this if it becomes unbearable. How anyone can live in such insecurity and hunger for months, let alone years, is almost unthinkable.

Today's total: $1.44

You can make a difference too!
To donate, go to: http://www.livebelowtheline.com/me/mxke
All funds raised is going to the World Food Program (WFP)

Live Below the Line: Answers to Friends' and Family's Questions

When I expressed my intention to participate in this year's Live Below the Line challenge, the first thing friends and family said to me after learning what the challenge about is "Is it necessary? How will you stay healthy?"

The answer to that is: Yes, it is necessary because it not only helps me in experiencing a fraction of what it is like to live in poverty (we can never truly understand what it is like for we are still in the safety and comfort of our home, with a choice to end eat better shall we feel unwell) but this effort will give us the chance to tell the people around us: “I’m making an effort, why not join me?”

How will I stay healthy?

I won’t. I will make an effort to balance my nutritions and I hope they will not worry for me. It will be hard, and I will be hungry. But remember: it is only for five days, and there are billions of people out there that have to live through that for who knows how long? If you are concerned for me now, you should be even more concerned for them.

No one deserves to live such a life. That is why we are donating money and taking the challenge. When we are people who can make a difference for others, it is our duty to do so.

See more & participate at https://www.livebelowtheline.com/me/mxke

Birthday Wishes

For my first birthday alone, I was determined to do whatever I please. California is the perfect place for outdoor reading. So I tucked my Shakespeare Tragedies (best bday present ever!) and set out for the Getty Center.

My other objective that day was the guided tours and the special exhibition on Victorian photography. Having never joined the guided tours the past couple of times I was there, I had the pleasure of discovering more of the museum. I love hearing about the design concepts and the history of the place. Stories of things, they can make everything into art. In fact, what we call art is often more than something that looks beautiful. They tell us stories. For the same reason I enjoyed the Victorian photography exhibition. It showcased the the development of photo taking and of the life story of Queen Victoria. I was even surprised to find that 3D photography, or 'stereography', was invented as early as the 19th century. The aristocrats sure know how to entertain themselves.

I am 23 now. About 1/3 of my lifetime is already gone, less if I am luckier. So little was done and my todo list is still endless. On this day, at least, I was able to tick off a few items on that list. If only birthday wishes always came true, I'd have asked for a few thousand healthy years. But that is not to be, and all we can ever do is to chase after our dreams with relentless vigor.