I am less afraid of going hungry than I was over the last four days. I know I’ll be free to eat whatever I want in no time. I’ve been counting down the hours. The happiness I am feeling right now is very different from the delight of having something to eat. It’s such a relief. Only now do I realize the fear of getting stomach cramps, staying up at night, and feeling faint had given me so much pressure. At the start of the week, I was confident: “It wouldn’t be too bad, I didn’t usually eat that much anyway.” As the week progresses and the first sign of hunger appeared, I guess I panicked a little. Expectations felling short of reality probably made it scarier. All thoughts automatically wonder to the one question of how to get more food. I learned to feed myself better towards the end, but the diet has gotten progressively less balanced and less healthy. If I continue to live by $1.50 a day, pretty soon I will be eating nothing but potato and lattice. Malnutrition is inevitable, but I wouldn’t care. It’s a frightening notion.
There are still hours to go before the challenge ends. But it is already a fine time to reflect on my week. I am so overwhelmed with the experience it will be difficult to put everything into words. As before, I will do my best and try to be as honest as possible.
The most profound impact came from the realization of how hunger, or indeed being in extreme poverty, makes it almost, if not completely, impossible to change one’s fate. At worst, I was only mildly hungry this week. Yet all my energy was directed to seeking and craving food. I can do little else. And when I do, I cannot do them as well as I want to. The situation gradually worsens towards the end. I was constantly tired, more than I realized. Just today, I went out for some errands and was exhausted upon returning home. I slept for nearly three hours afterwards. It was no laziness. It was fatigue. People need food to be productive. People need energy to work to get the money for food. Lacking either, one will have difficulty getting the other. The cycle completed itself. It surprises me how hard it was for me to really grasp that before.
We, who have a house over our heads, who have enough food, who can go to school, who can spare money for actives we love, are extremely lucky people. I feel almost guilty for being so privileged. The guilt comes from knowing how I used to crave more. I was always wanting. Nice clothes, books, tickets to a show, money to go a traveling... I never wanted food before. Hunger was too foreign a concept. People were suffering around me but they seemed so far away. They don’t anymore. They never will again.
I have a new-found appreciation for food. I will never be more thankful than to have a hot meal on the plate. The food I wasted before would put me to shame now. How can anyone throw edible food down the drain when they spent a week eating apples down to the core and would consume its seeds and stem were it possible not to gag in the process?
The world seems both smaller and bigger. Smaller because there are so many people who are willing to help and who are supportive. I am most grateful for everyone who has cared for me though out the week. But participation in the campaign also brought about connection with like-minded strangers. I have received much heartwarming encouragements. Frankly, though, I was too wrapped up in my own misery to give as much support to fellow participants as I would like. The world feels bigger because there are still an alarming amount of people who need help. The feeling that we might never truly end poverty can be depressing. We can only do so much. With all there is to be done and should be done, chasing after fame and fortune seems like such a childish insignificant business.
This has been a most amazing journey for me. To say it is life-changing is not an exaggeration. The understanding that people are suffering all around will not be forgotten for a moment. It is clearer to me than ever before that everyone should be given a chance to start from the same footing. No one should inherit poverty and be left to perish. If donating and volunteering was only an act of kindness before, it is an act of necessity now. People need not suffer if we do something. The campaign may be over, but the need to help continues.
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| Today's total: $1.42 |
You can help make a difference too!
The campaign will remain open until the end of May.
To donate, go to: http://www.livebelowtheline.com/me/mxke
All funds raised will go to the World Food Program (WFP)
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